


The Consequences Of Falling

by paperduck



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: AU, Falling In Love, Insecurity, LGBTQ Characters, M/M, lots of photos being described
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29461938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperduck/pseuds/paperduck
Summary: This is the Alex and George photographer AU you didn't know you needed.
Relationships: Alexander Albon/George Russell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this was written purely because I have very distinct ideas of photos I need George to provide. And since I am not good enough at painting, my words will have to do the painting for my hands. (Honestly I only wanted to describe the pictures and this completely ran away with me.) Obviously, I do not work in the field so everything is just imagined in a way that it convientenly fits into the story.  
> It might have turned out a lot longer than I first intended and a lot less light. I decided to split it up into three parts for easier acess, but I will post them all today. I have held myself back from posting it for about two or three weeks now because *points at the date*.  
> Also, it’s AU because why not. Photographer AU is not overdone yet, is it? XD Which makes pointing out that this is fiction and imagination a little superfluous, but there, I said it anways.  
> Well… je ne regrette rien. Let's get on with the story, shall we?

_‘If I’m alone in this I don’t think I can face the consequences of falling’ (K. D. Lang)_

“Excuse me, uh hi, I… okay this is going to sound really stupid…”  
George looked up at the stranger standing next to his table. He was wearing a coat that looked worn but fit him well enough that it could have been a styling decision. The raindrops on his shoulders hadn’t quite been soaked up into the material yet so he must have just entered the café. He had loosened his scarf and held a dark blue hat in one hand.  
“Yes?” George asked and put his magazine down.  
“I saw you when I walked past the café…”  
George frowned, “Do I know you?”  
“No. I… listen, I am a photographer or… I don’t know, aspiring to be one since I have yet to publish anything and…”  
George held up a hand, “Wait.” He looked at the guy in front of him, he seemed nervous and was probably usually way too shy to just chat someone up like this and the way he had pulled up his shoulders while at the same time trying to make himself look smaller on the spot was kind of endearing. George’s instincts told him he wasn’t going to be a threat and decided to just listen to what he had to say, in the worst case he would stay as bored as he was. “Are you in a hurry?” he asked.  
“Not exactly…”  
“Then please do sit down,” George pointed at the chair across from him with one hand before he signalled for the waiter. “Mind telling me your name?”  
“It’s Alex.”  
“Nice to meet you, Alex.”  
“Likewise?” Alex put his backpack down next to his chair and carefully balanced his rolled-up scarf and hat on it. He took off his coat, folded it and placed it onto the small heater between the table and the window. Maybe it would dry before he had to go out into the rain again. He hated the cold and wet, grey winter weather so much.  
“What can I get for you?” The waiter addressed Alex.  
He hesitated for a moment since he would have preferred not to order anything, but he couldn’t very well do that now, could he. “I’ll have a small coffee.”  
“Now Alex,” George said.  
And Alex felt his heart rate pick up a little at the way his name rolled off the other’s lips.  
“What were you trying to say?”  
Alex rubbed a hand over his eyes, “I am aware that this is going to sound like a corny pick-up line, but I just saw you sitting here and I want to photograph you.”  
George raised an eyebrow and Alex raised both hands in front of him.  
“Nothing questionable, I swear,” he paused for a moment. “Can I talk?”  
“Sure, go ahead.”

The waiter placed a white coffee cup in front of him and the rich scent calmed Alex a little. “I have an offer to add a photo series to an exhibition one of my former university classmates is putting together. It has to meet a specific topic though and so I can’t fall back on something I already have.” He wrapped both hands around the cup, trying to warm them, but they were too large and the cup too small and delicate to achieve the desired effect. “I do have pictures in mind, and I asked a few friends, but it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.” Alex lifted to coffee cup to his lips. At least the coffee was good, even though he really didn’t want to think about the price.  
“You could book a model?” George suggested.  
Alex let his shoulders sink. “I looked into that, but I’m afraid I can’t quite afford it.”  
“So, what, you walk up to a stranger to ask them to do it for free?”  
Alex looked up. He knew he was blushing. “Not exactly for free… but the agency fees are really absurd…”  
George leaned with both elbows on the table now and Alex had to fight to lean back in his chair, he was a little too close. “I have to say, I do admire your fearlessness.”  
Alex shook his head. “I am really the opposite of fearless, but you are just exactly what I am looking for so I really had to ask.” He was probably as red as a tomato right now, but Alex didn’t care. He needed to convince this guy, and if the price to pay was to never sleep again because of the complete embarrassment of this situation, so be it. “Can’t lose much, can I?”  
“Can you show me any of your work?”  
“Uh, sure!” Alex fumbled his phone out of his pocket and opened his Instagram before he turned it around and slipped it across the table.  
George scrolled through Alex’s account for a moment, then looked up at him, “You are really good.”  
Alex tried to hide behind his coffee cup, which didn’t quite work out, “Thank you.”  
George gave him a lopsided smile. “I mean it.”

Alex carefully placed his cup back onto the saucer. “So, would you consider...” he took back his phone.  
“Let me make an offer,” George interrupted him.  
Alex closed his mouth and nodded.  
“You tell me what you have in mind, if I like your concept I will do it. In exchange for you helping me out with a series of photos of my choice for my own Instagram,” George leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.  
“Sure… sounds fair to me?”  
“Is that a question, Alex?” George smiled.  
Alex felt like he needed to slap himself to act at least somewhat professional. “It’s not a question.” So he picked up his phone again to show a few snapshots he had taken of the location and gave a rough sketch of what he had in mind. Alex felt reassured whenever George nodded and gradually relaxed, he could do this, they were still talking, weren’t they? Alex felt ridiculously proud when he made George laugh.  
“I really do like your idea,” George concluded.  
Alex beamed at him. He felt a lot more hopeful than this morning. Another week and he would have had to cancel on the exhibition. Now, even the rain outside the window looked less dreary. “Great!”  
“I got the impression you were in a hurry to get the pictures done?” George asked.  
“Yeah, ideally sometime this week, or next at the latest.”  
George nodded, “I can do that.” He checked his – expensive looking – watch and sighed. He took out his own phone, “I’ll follow your account so you can text me the details. I’m afraid I have to leave this minute.”  
George motioned for the waiter, settled the bill including Alex’s coffee before he had the chance to protest. And a tip that would have been enough for Alex’s to buy himself lunch.  
“Right. Sorry for keeping you. And thank you!” Alex grabbed his coat, that thankfully felt quite dry by now.  
George smiled, “Don’t worry. I think we can both benefit from that.”  
Alex just nodded and felt stupid. He clumsily put his coat on while he watched George do the same.  
“So, see you soon then.” George gave Alex a nod.  
“Yes!” Alex exclaimed, again feeling the need to slap himself for acting like a complete idiot. He watched George walk away from the table while he still tried to gather his belongings.  
After a few steps George turned back, “My name’s George, by the way.” 

Alex had just stepped out into the rain and pulled up his collar, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He waited until he had reached the roof of the bus stop before he took the phone out to check the notification. It was from Instagram, alerting him to a new follower. Curiously Alex clicked on the profile and almost dropped his phone. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mumbled when he looked at the close to 900k followers. And then he added one more. He really needed negotiate to have George credit his name when he took pictures of him. On the bus ride home Alex scrolled through George’s pictures, absentmindedly liking some that stood out in his opinion. That man knew how to pose for pictures, which was kind of comforting. Though Alex immediately felt insecure because he needed his pictures to represent his vision, which might not always be the prettiest picture of the bunch. He hoped George was open-minded enough to let him follow his vision without trying to take over. Alex noted the little red number telling him he had a message. It was from George.  
‘See you appreciate my assets.’  
Alex felt his face heat up when he did a quick recollection of the pictures he had liked. He decided, since the other couldn’t see him anyways, to be cheeky about it. ‘Only checking out what I get to work with.’  
The reply was almost immediate. ‘Like what you see?’  
‘Yeah, not too bad.’ Which was a blatant lie. He had been half in love with the guy’s looks since he had seen him sit in that window being the epitome of a modern-time dandy; handsome, dressed in clothes that were probably way too expensive and looking utterly bored with his life. He was kind of glad though that his desperation had won over his embarrassment. And Alex decided to throw all caution into the wind and typed ‘Actually, I like what I see a lot and I can’t wait to get you in front of my camera.’ He had nothing to lose. He then stuffed the phone back into the pocket and got off the bus. He felt it vibrate a few times in his pocket but he couldn’t bring himself to check the messages before he had arrived in his flat. 

Alex carefully checked that his flatmate wasn’t around, considering that his door was closed he was probably streaming some game in his room. Alex sat down at the kitchen table with his phone. Taking a few deep breaths before he lit the screen.  
George had texted ‘Lucky me.’ ‘I am actually excited to see your ideas come to life.’ ‘Please do text me where and when.’ ‘Need to switch the phone off now. Catch you later.’  
Alex stared at his screen for several minutes. Were they flirting or just being nice? Did he want them to be flirting? And why was his mind focussing on that question rather than the definitely more important one of how soon he could set up the photo shoot.  
“Hey Alex, didn’t hear you come back. Why are you grinning at your phone like a maniac?”  
Alex turned around, deciding to ignore his flatmate’s question. “Lando, I need your help with a photo shoot, can you be my lighting technician?”  
Lando flopped down onto the chair across from Alex. “Sure. Did you find someone to be your model?”  
Alex nodded. He tapped the screen until he was back on George’s Instagram and handed the phone over to Lando.  
Lando whistled while he scrolled and listened to Alex recounting how they had met. “I must say I am impressed. Did you unlock some secret flirting skills to get him to agree?”  
“I did not flirt!” Alex insisted.  
“Did he?” Lando grinned and handed Alex the phone back.  
“No! This is a business proposal.”  
“Sure,” Lando laughed. “You chat up a hot boy with no other intention than getting your pictures ready before the exhibition…”  
“Yes! I don’t have much time left! You know how important it is to me.”  
“And he only agrees to help you out because you looked so desperate…” Lando grinned and Alex threw a dish towel at him.  
“I don’t know why he agreed and I don’t care, I need these pictures!”  
“So… you don’t mind if I flirt with him when I help you with the lights?” Lando raised an eyebrow.  
Alex looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Why would I mind?” he pressed out between his teeth.  
Lando almost fell off the chair with his laughter. “Alex, you are going to be helplessly in love with the guy before the week is over,” he predicted.

*  
Of course Alex would not admit it to Lando, but he was right. He had continued texting with George half of the night and throughout the next day. They had decided that Sunday late morning would work best for both of them, but it was still Thursday.  
On Friday, Alex mustered enough courage to ask George if he would be willing to think about black nail polish and eyeliner for at least some of the pictures and waited with bated breath until he got a reply that simply said ‘sure’. No further questions asked, not comments, no fuss – just a simple confirmation. Alex tapped the heart to like the answer before he could reconsider. George then started asking about clothes and if Alex had anything specific in mind and they ended up in a five-hour video chat where George showed Alex half of his wardrobe – on himself, of course – and they continued talking long after that topic had been settled. They kept going on about films and sports and basically every not actually personal topic until Alex almost fell asleep.  
Saturday was busy for Alex, checking his equipment and replacing one of the lightbulbs, drawing a few sketches of the pictures he wanted to take, making sure his camera and the extra battery were charged and working. All the while trying not to give in to his paranoia that George was going to drop out last minute. There was no room for failure. His career depended on this, everything had to work out at least perfectly if not better this time.  
His phone vibrated on the desk and Alex picked it up. He had sent George his number, so they didn’t have to chat via Instagram all the time. Alex almost fainted before he could muster the courage to tap on the message icon, convinced this was going to be George calling the whole thing off.  
Instead George wrote ‘Don’t forget to text me the address!’  
“Shit,” Alex cursed under his breath. He really needed to act a lot more professional about this and forget for a moment what else he would like to do with him. He sent George a google maps location and added the time, just to make it look a little more official.  
‘Looking forward to tomorrow.’ George texted back.  
And Alex thought, to hell with professional, there was no money involved so he had no reputation at stake and sent ‘Yes, me too.’

*  
“Are we going to be alone?” George stepped under the small roof where the other stood with several bags around him.  
Alex shuffled from one foot onto the other. “I know this looks a bit dodgy… I really can’t afford a lighting crew, a friend was supposed to help me with the spots and stuff but he got ill. I don’t even know how he managed that because he never leaves the house and always plays video games all day. I am really running out of time for the exhibition though, otherwise I would have called you and asked for a different date. I totally understand if you want to leave and…” Alex stopped rambling when he felt a hand on his arm, momentarily distracted to see George had actually fulfilled his wish to paint his nails black. He looked up and caught George’s eyes.  
“Alex, it’s okay, I won’t back out. Can I help you with setting up the equipment?”  
“Can you?”  
George rolled his eyes, “It’s only a few spots, I know how screws work and I can plug in cables, you know...”  
Alex looked at him sheepishly, “Of course you can. Sorry.”  
“You really don’t have to be so nervous.”  
“It’s just that there’s really a lot at stake for me.” Alex picked up a few of his bags.  
“Do you need help with that?” George asked and picked up the bag closest to him.  
“Yes, thank you,” Alex pushed the door open and held it for the other.  
“How did you even get all this here by yourself?” George wondered.  
“Carefully and slowly, sweating more than I would have liked, and with a lot of staring at people on the train when they got too close to my things,” Alex replied and made George laugh.  
“You should have said something, I would have picked you up,” George said. “Well, at least let me drive you home later.”  
“You don’t have to,” Alex immediately gave back.  
“No, but I want to,” George smiled.  
Alex had to look away. “Right,” he sat his bags down and started unpacking.  
George looked around. It was an old industrial building, with pipes running along the walls, concrete walls and lattice staircases. The dirty windows high on the walls below the ceiling let in the rare sunlight where someone had smashed them, but the room was still rather dark. “Are we even supposed to be in here?” George asked.  
“No,” Alex said, eyes fixed on setting up a spot, “but I’m friends with the security guy and as long as we don’t vandalize anything, he’s fine with us being here. I really like this location.”  
“It’s brilliant!”  
Alex smiled at the honest excitement in the other’s voice.  
“What do you want me to do?” George asked, crouching down next to Alex.  
“Take this cable, roll it out and,” Alex looked up then pointed to his left, “There is a socket over there, behind that rack.”  
“There’s electricity?”  
“They have motion detectors all around the building at night, so yes, there should be electricity. Otherwise we’re going to have a problem,” Alex smiled at George’s surprised expression, then went back to assembling the tripod.  
Thankfully everything worked just fine. They decided to start in front of a broken window that was barred with a few planks.  
“So… I brought this so you can hang up your clothes,” Alex pointed at the basic rack he had just assembled.  
“That’s very thoughtful!” George beamed.  
Alex threw a blanket across the rack. “Look, now you can even pretend you have a changing room!” he laughed.  
“What, you don’t want to watch me get changed?” George managed to almost sound offended.  
“Well, I can’t just presume the show is included, now can I?” Alex grinned.  
How could it be this easy to feel connected to someone, Alex wondered. The banter came naturally and Alex felt like they had known each other for much longer than a few days. If he believed in that stuff he would claim they had known each other in a previous life. Which, of course, he would never say out loud.  
“Ah, the man has manners. Nice to know,” George started sorting the clothes they had picked out on Friday and placed them across the rack. He did not step behind the blanket when he unbuttoned the shirt he wore.  
Alex turned away and busied himself with the camera settings. Taking a few shots to see how the lighting was working, adjusting the spot a little and kicking the broken glass to the side to avoid any accidents.

“Alex, can you hold the mirror for a second?” George called him over a few minutes later. He had changed into a black turtle neck that was fitting his form so tightly that it was actually quite distracting.  
Dutifully Alex held the mirror and watched as George first combed through his hair with his fingers then grabbed the eyeliner to draw a black line underneath the lashes on his lower eyelids.  
Alex lifted his camera a little awkwardly since he could only use one hand and snapped a few pictures. They would probably turn out shitty, but he felt the urge to capture the moment.  
George gave him a small smile and took the mirror from Alex’s hand.  
“Ready to go?”  
“Yes, let’s do this.”  
They started with a few profile and half-profile portraits to warm up and get used to each other, Alex calling commands and George following. They worked surprisingly well together.  
“Okay, let’s move away from the window. Stand in front of this wall. I want you to place your hands on the side of your face or on your neck… just try a few things and we’ll see what works.”  
It took a few tries, and a few different poses and some adjusting of the spots until Alex had three pictures that he wanted to use. Most of the pictures he had taken looked gorgeous, but three of them were absolutely stunning and Alex felt really proud. The first one showed George from the side, thumb against the angle of his jaw, head leaned back and fingers splayed across the chin. The second had George cover half of his face with one hand and looking at the camera from between his fingers. The last had been more of an accident between two poses where George had caught the side of his lower lip with one finger and pulled it down a little, his eyes half-closed. Alex felt his heart beat a little faster when he looked at it. He marked all three with a little star and cleared his throat. He did another round of detail shots and close ups – George’s eyes, a thumb hooked under a belt loop, a finger placed between his teeth, a hand pushed into his hair, his fingers against his throat – Alex planned to set those up as a collage combined with some of the location shots he had done another time.  
“Great, I think you can change while I set up the lights over there,” Alex gave his best to sound business-like, since he was pretty sure George had caught on to his reaction to the pictures earlier. He did not want to ruin whatever it was they had established. 

“Okay, look directly at the lens for as long as you can stand the lights.” There was a spot on each side behind Alex and he felt as if they were going to burn the hairs off his arms where he had pushed up his sleeves.  
George stood in front of an old, rusty metal locker, both hands grabbing the sides of his collar and his chin raised defiantly.  
Alex took a few photos and checked the pictures on the display. This wasn’t quite there yet. “Do you mind opening another button or two?”  
George complied without questioning him and Alex really tried not to stare. George resumed the pose and Alex almost had to shake himself into action.  
Again Alex checked the display, zooming in on a few pictures to see whether they were blurry or not. He sucked in his breath when he came across the perfect picture.  
“Can I see?” George asked and Alex noted he had come over.  
For a few seconds Alex hesitated. He knew it instantly, this one was perfect. He was a little scared to show it to George in case he did not like it. Then he turned the camera sideways bravely, so George could look at the picture.  
“I… wow, Alex, that’s… damn you’re good.”  
Alex gave a little startled laugh. “What?”  
“I mean, obviously I am an amateur in that field, but this picture… how can I say that without sounding like a bloody narcissist? It has an effect?” George shrugged, obviously embarrassed.  
Alex laughed, this time with relief and pride. “Thank you.” Then he winked, diffusing the situation with an “Couldn’t have done it without you.”  
Which made George laugh as well, “Not going to argue on that one.”

George changed into a suit next. Alex had asked him more than a few times if it really was an old one that he would not mind getting dirty. George had laughed that yes, it was very old and he never wore it anyway and he also knew a pretty good dry-cleaner and Alex should stop worrying.  
They took pictures on one of the staircases. George walking up and down the stairs several times before Alex asked him to sit down. Alex marked two pictures, one where George looked to the side, legs spread wide and elbows on the stairs behind him – the pose a stark contrast to the clothes – the picture taken slightly from above. The other had George sit sideways to the camera, one leg bent with his elbow resting on his knee, the other leg stretched out, foot resting a few stairs below, while he looked at the lens and held out his hand towards the person looking at the picture. He flipped through the photos once more and marked a third one, lights filtering through the staircase, George with his back to the camera but looking sideways so the lights illuminated his profile.  
Alex did not show them to George. He would, of course get his permission to use them, but for now he wanted to just keep up the mystery.  
“I had an idea for a picture we haven’t planned… are you up for one more?” Alex asked.  
“What did you have in mind?” George got up and rolled his shoulders, stretching his arms and legs.  
“Do you mind lying down on that first landing? I really love the view through the stairs.” Alex motioned with his hands.  
“Sure” George shrugged. “I’ll take this spot up?” He slipped off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt and grabbed the spot without waiting for an answer.  
Alex looked after him and he really did not stare at his ass, absolutely not, because that would be highly unprofessional, but it was a really nice view.  
“Alex?”  
Feeling caught Alex jumped when George addressed him. “Yes?”  
“Light from above or below?”  
“Above,” Alex replied, trying not to see the smirk on George’s face.  
Together they made sure the tripod stood securely on the steps before they move away from it.  
“Do you want me to get the jacket?” George asked and Alex shook his head.  
“No, I like you like this.” Then he blushed as if he was a stupid teenager. “I mean…”  
George just laughed and sat down on the ground. “So, how do you want me.”  
“George, please… you’re making it sound so wrong.”  
“I am not. That’s all your dirty imagination,” George lay down.  
“I am trying to work here,” Alex complained.  
“Is staring at my ass part of your work?” George teased.  
“I was not staring at your ass but at my light tech that you were carrying around.”  
“Sure. If that makes you feel better about it,” George winked.  
Alex stood over George, one foot on either side of him, while he pointed the camera at him. Through the mesh a mess of pipes and cables could be seen. “Lift one arm above your head.”  
Alex snapped a few pictures, they were nice, but something was missing. While he looked at the little screen and tried to figure out what to change, George patted his knee.  
“Hey Alex, can I open my shirt or would that make you faint?” George asked.  
“I am certainly not going to faint because you wouldn’t cushion my fall,” Alex gave back, glad that he could hide his face behind the camera. “But I think that might work.”  
Alex was not snapping pictures while George unbuttoned the shirt. Well, okay, he absolutely was taking pictures, but to be fair, one never knew when the perfect picture got captured.  
In the end Alex found himself staring at one picture of George, with both arms raised above his head, fingers of one hand wrapped around the other wrist, his back slightly arched with the white shirt spread below him, glowing from the light of the second spot still switched on below them and his head turned mostly to the side.  
Alex did not notice George get up from the floor and look over his shoulder until he drew in a sharp breath right next to his ear. Though Alex was still too transfixed to be startled.  
“Are you going to use this?” George wondered, pointing at the camera display.  
“I don’t know,” Alex admitted honestly.  
“It’s a good picture.”  
“It is an amazing picture,” Alex corrected. “Would you feel comfortable with me displaying it?”  
“Yeah, why not, it’s art,” George shrugged. “I wouldn’t feel bad about it.”  
“You are art,” Alex said before he could bite his tongue. “I mean… damn, you know exactly what I mean.” He turned away from the other’s gaze.  
George laughed. “Thank you?”  
Alex looked at him. “I don’t know if I want to use it, it feels…” he stopped, at loss for words. Too intimate. But he didn’t want to say it because he didn’t want to dig himself in even deeper.  
George placed one hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to, obviously. But I really like it.”  
“Right. I guess we’re through then,” Alex said.  
“Okay, I’m going to change back and help you pack up,” George skipped down the stairs.  
Alex switched the spots off to let them cool down while he collected the cables. The light from outside started to turn orange, telling him that the sun was setting.  
“Hey, Alex, can I invite you to dinner?” George called over.  
Alex tried to sound casual when he replied. “Shouldn’t I invite you, as a thank you?”  
“I don’t know,” George crossed the room to help him de-assemble the tripod. “Should you?”  
“Since you offered to drive me and my equipment home… you could come up and I order pizza?” Alex asked, purposely not looking at George.  
“Sounds nice.” 

George sat on the sofa, eating his half of the pizza they were sharing – they had ordered salad and some finger food with it, former at George’s insistence, latter at Alex’s – while Alex was copying the pictures to his laptop.  
“Are you going to edit them?” George asked.  
“No. Not much at least. I think I want some in black and white, especially the ones on the stairs. But otherwise I won’t need to do much,” Alex explained. He reached for another slice of pizza. “Maybe reframing them a little here and there.”  
“Will there be a gallery opening event or anything?” George asked. He had his feet tucked under him on the sofa and Alex thought he looked like he belonged there.  
“Probably, I haven’t cleared the details yet since I wasn’t sure I was going to have something to provide. Would you want to come?” Alex leaned his head to one side.  
“Of course!” George laughed. “I also want to know where and when so I can announce it on my Instagram. Or is that a stupid idea?”  
Alex grinned. “No! I would love that.” He got up and sat down on the other end of the sofa.  
They were quiet for a moment, both eating and smiling to themselves.  
“I did have a lot of fun today. So… I hope it’s not presumptuous to ask if we could meet again?” George bit his lower lip.  
“First of all, we had a deal and I will not back out. And besides I would very much like to meet you again,” Alex couldn’t help but grin like an idiot.  
George leaned a little closer and Alex felt his heartbeat pick up at that, when Lando stumbled into the room.  
“Oh, pizza!”  
Alex rolled his eyes and George looked somewhere between annoyed, puzzled and amused.  
“I ordered one for you it’s in the kitchen. Where you should be,” Alex told Lando.  
“What you’re not going to introduce me to George?” Lando pouted.  
“You are sick. You will not stay in this room and spread your germs!” Alex protested. “But since I am not a rude person, Lando this is George, George, meet my flatmate.”  
“Hi, nice to meet you!” Lando grinned.  
Alex warned him with a glare not to do or say anything he would regret later.  
“I am feeling much better, I have slept all day and took all the meds you gave me!” Lando said to Alex. “And I have been all alone all day, I want company!”  
“I could go?” George offered.  
“You will not leave! Alex would have my head if you left on my account!” Lando protested before Alex could say anything.  
George raised an eyebrow at Alex, who blushed and covered his face with one hand.  
“We could watch a movie?” Lando suggested, hiding his grin behind the sleeves of his oversized hoodie.  
Alex sighed. “Yes, get your pizza. You are still not allowed on the sofa.”  
George chuckled. “You like each other a lot.”  
“Are you kidding? I hate him right now!” Alex protested.  
“You do not,” Lando mumbled around a mouth-full of pizza and nicely settled into the armchair, after wrapping himself in the blanket Alex had dropped across the back of it.

*


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go, part two: more photos and some drama.

It had been very late when George had left, still even though Alex had to get up early the next morning George immediately answered when he texted him.  
‘Why are you up, don’t you need some beauty sleep?’ Alex wrote.  
‘I don’t know, do I?’ Was George’s reply.  
Alex snorted, as if George didn’t know how attractive he was. And as if he hadn’t noticed how attracted Alex was. ‘Feeling torn between telling you to go back to bed or never sleep again.’  
‘Well, I actually have classes this morning and I needed to fit in my morning run through the park after that pizza yesterday.’  
Right, Alex had never asked him what he actually did, except for running his insanely popular Instagram account. Alex had, in a bout of cyberstalking he felt a little ashamed of, read a lot of the comments people left under his photos. And felt stupid for even daring to walk up to him like he had done. ‘I’m not sure I would have made the same choice.’ Alex typed. He briefly reflected if he knew anyone else who would pick running over sleeping after half a pizza and wondered if he should feel concerned. ‘I also feel that I need to know a lot more about you.’  
‘I’m free this afternoon. And I am determined to get you to accept my dinner invitation.’  
‘I work until seven and I really can’t cut any hours.’  
‘Well, I don’t exactly have to sleep by eight.’  
Alex smiled. ‘Okay, I’ll text you during lunch break. Have to run now.’

Alex worked for a friend of a friend of his parents’, who wanted to sell things from her shop online, since people rarely stopped to walk into the shop anymore. Alex liked the clothes and little accessories she made a lot, so he helped her set up an online store, took pictures of the items and handled everything from communicating with the buyers to wrapping and sending out the goods. It wasn’t exactly paying well, and some weeks recently had been especially slow and he had busied himself with re-taking some of the pictures. He really liked the shop owner, who was in her 50s, and had in the last seven months that Alex had worked for her never failed to wear her rainbow badge.  
Alex taking care of all the online business gave her time to produce new items. She often worked different pride flags into the designs. She certainly wasn’t the only one doing this, but Alex wondered if that would offer her a marketing angle. On his way to the shop he texted his friend that he had pictures for the exhibition and would drop by in a few days to discuss the sizes of print outs. He quickly checked Instagram before he put his phone away.  
“Good morning, Ms. Wells,” Alex greeted the tiny woman behind the counter.   
“Good morning, Alex,” she smiled at him, “did you have a late night yesterday?”  
“Do I look tired?” Alex asked.  
She nodded, “Ah, to be young again.”  
“But you are still young.”  
“There’s no need to flatter me, young man.”  
They smiled at each other and Alex booted the computer. While the old machine took its time to load all the programmes, Alex looked at the new items his boss had produced over the weekend and complimented her work. He wondered if he should ask her to wear one of her pins to the exhibition. And make sure he commented on it on his Instagram.   
“Ms. Wells? What would you think of starting an Instagram for your store?” Why hadn’t he thought about that opportunity before?  
“Instant what did you say?” she looked at him over the rim of her reading glasses.  
Alex chuckled, “Instagram. It’s an online platform where you can share pictures. Wait.” He pulled the phone from his pocket and opened his account. “Here.”  
She scrolled through his pictures for a while, smiling. “I do like your pictures.”  
“Thank you.”  
She handed him his phone back, “And you would run that, beside the online shop?”  
“Sure, I mean, I take the pictures anyway, and we could link the online store to the account. I can take care of it when there’s not so many orders to fulfil,” Alex offered when she looked a little sceptical.  
“Well, it can’t hurt, right?” she beamed at him.

No, this certainly was not Alex’s dream job, but he did enjoy her company and it paid rent and food. Now, if he could sell a photo now and then, or get someone to book him for a photo shooting, that would be nice because he really needed a few new clothes. And since all his spare money went into replacing the equipment that had broken or gotten too old, clothes had had to wait for quite a while now. He had finished university last summer and had hoped to snatch one of the jobs with their final presentation, but he hadn’t been lucky enough to impress any of the employers. Or maybe his work would have had a better chance if it had been presented without him there… besides he just wasn’t good at advertising himself. But since his parents had made it pretty clear that they would stop funding him as soon as he had finished university – he did have younger siblings who deserved their chance as well – he had needed to get a job.  
There had been quite a lot of orders that morning, mostly from regular customers and Alex only noted how late it had become when his growling stomach prompted his boss to comment.  
“Alex, if you don’t go on your lunch break this minute, I will have to throw something at you!” she called over from her work bench in the back.  
Alex glanced at the clock and noticed it was past three in the afternoon. “Yes, okay, I’m going.”  
He quickly got out his phone, and saw George’s last message. ‘Where do you work? I’ll come and pick you up.’ So he sent his location to George and asked ‘quarter past 7? There’s a ramen restaurant near-by’.   
‘I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about me.’  
“Not very likely,” Alex mumbled while he sat down in the kitchen and prepared a sandwich. ‘Not that easily.’ 

The afternoon was slower. Alex set up the account as a subaccount to his own so he could access it from his phone. He posted a couple of photos, tagged them with everything he could think of that would bring people in and then collected all the parcels to take them to the post.   
While he stood in line with nothing else to do his brain got busy. Of course his thoughts immediately went to George who he would meet in less than two hours. Alex felt nervous. He wasn’t dressed for a date. He wouldn’t even have anything to dress for a proper date. Anyways, this wasn’t a date, why was he worrying about it? George probably only wanted to make sure Alex honoured his part of the bargain, right? Of course he would say he had enjoyed their photo session, because he would want Alex to be enthusiastic to deliver him good pictures that he could use.   
He wondered if he only imagined that they had had a moment last night, before Lando had interrupted. Maybe Alex should thank him because he would have made a fool of himself, of giant proportions. He didn’t even know a lot about George, Alex thought while he walked back to the store, hands deep in his pockets against the cold wind. At least it wasn’t raining.   
By the time he shut off the computer and grabbed his things to leave the shop for the night, Alex had almost managed to convince himself that George would send him a message any second now to cancel their meeting. So Alex was startled to the point where he almost dropped his phone when George’s sleek silver car stopped next to him. And honestly what did he even think he was doing? He had no business wanting to hang out with someone who could afford a car as expensive as this!

George leaned over and opened the door on the passenger side. “Get in, you have to guide me to that restaurant you mentioned,” he grinned.  
Alex reacted before he could overthink any more. If he didn’t get too emotionally invested, everything would be fine and he could just take what he was given, couldn’t he? George was nice company and even if this turned out to be purely for business purposes, he should try to create some gain for himself. He gave directions and watched George steer the car. His profile looked so handsome with the streetlights washing over him while he focussed on the street. Alex needed to capture it. So he took out his phone, waited for the perfect moment and snapped a picture.  
“You’ll like it. I’ll send it to you,” Alex said casually. He did send the picture, to make his story more plausible, and put his phone down.  
George threw him a sideways glance but then had to focus on turning around a corner and finding a space to park his car.  
They got out of the car.  
“I can delete it, if you want me to.” He should have asked. He really should have asked.  
George took out his phone and checked the picture. “No need to delete it if I post it, is there?” he shrugged.   
“Sorry,” Alex mumbled. He turned towards the restaurant but stopped when George took hold of his wrist.   
“What’s going on, Alex? Did you have a bad day? You don’t have to feel obliged to spend time with me if you don’t…”  
Alex interrupted. “Come on, let’s go in, I’ve been looking forward to their food all day.”

Alex had decided that they needed to order Gyoza before their ramen. George had given in after a few minutes and accepted his fate.  
“Everybody loves Gyoza, you won’t regret it,” Alex insisted after they had placed their order.  
“We will see about that,” George replied with a smile. Alex looked way too excited about the dish to not give in. Even if it meant an extra round through the park.   
“So, I…” Alex started. He had come up with a brilliant plan to find out if George only wanted to talk about business or if he was interested in maybe establishing a friendship. “Can I ask things about you?”  
“Sure,” George nodded. “Why would you think you couldn’t?”  
Alex shrugged, hoping it came across as casual enough that the other wouldn’t ask.   
“What do you want to know?”  
Everything. “I mean… I basically don’t know anything…” Alex said, feeling embarrassed he clasped his hands on the table.  
“I don’t have anything to hide from you,” George told him.   
Alex looked into his face, if he found his behaviour strange he didn’t let on about it. “You said this morning you had classes. What are you studying?”  
George looked down and for a few seconds Alex berated himself for starting off with an uncomfortable topic – just his luck.  
“So, I am studying engineering and I’m alright at it. I put in a lot of effort, because I want to be good at it, but I’m not passionate about it,” George said.   
“Why did you pick it?”  
“My parents insisted I picked something useful. I created the Instagram while I was still in school, to spite them and prove a point. They still pushed me into applying for university since that wasn’t a proper career.” George sighed. “I agree with them, to a certain degree.”   
“What do you want to do instead?” Alex asked.  
“For now? I just want to invest my energy into the Instagram thing. I mean, I made it work quite nicely. And for later… I don’t know, I want to find out. I want to try things and find something that brings a sense of fulfilment. There’s a lot of things I find interesting, cars or advertisement for example. But I can’t try things out since I am too busy working on a degree I probably won’t ever use.”  
“I understand,” Alex nodded. “I mean… I studied what I love and well, it didn’t get me where I wanted to be.”  
“Not yet, you have to believe in yourself, Alex, at least you’re working on your dream,” George gave him a smile.  
“I guess. It’s hard to push your dream if you spend your time trying to make enough money to get by,” Alex sighed. “I guess you’re really lucky that you found a way to avoid that.”   
George grinned. “Oh, I know I’m lucky. I caught the eye of a few sponsors paying me to advertise their stuff and it’s nothing I feel ashamed of promoting… it is quite a bit of work though. For now, I can live off it quite nicely, if I put in the necessary effort.” He grinned wider, “I even get paid to drive that car, if I regularly post pictures with it and say nice things about it. I had a different one last year, which was also nice. I really do like this one though. Thought they might let me look into jobs at their company at some point in the future.”  
“You could investigate this during spring break… then you wouldn’t have to go back if it’s an option,” Alex suggested.  
George gave him a look he couldn’t read, so Alex immediately went into an apology.  
“Don’t be sorry, that’s not a bad idea.”  
While they ate they talked about lighter topics. Alex laughed a little about George trying to fight the noodles with his chop sticks without getting the broth everywhere. 

They ordered tea after finishing their bowls.  
And Alex brought up the photos George wanted him to take. “So, do you already have any specific ideas?”  
“Since you liked a few of my pictures I know for a fact that you have looked at my account. So you know I post mostly selfies or ask someone to take a picture when I am somewhere nice and they rarely have any artistic value. I was planning to make a series of pictures during work out, but that’s a little difficult on my own,” George shrugged.  
Alex laughed, “Yeah, I guess it’s not the most convincing.”  
“And I still want that… but after seeing how you can make me look,” George looked into his cup, unable to hold Alex’s gaze. “I just want you to do whatever you want with me.”  
Alex swallowed. He needed to do something to diffuse this situation. And the only thing he could think of was to make a joke. Or, half a joke. “Now that’s tempting,” he said with the dirtiest grin he could produce.  
George looked up then laughed, “Yeah, I guess I just said it that way.”  
Alex nodded, laughing along. Did he wish he had meant it ‘that way’? Absolutely. And Alex knew he probably had to take several cold showers while he thought about what kind of pictures he could come up with. And maybe run them by a third party to avoid provoking a lawsuit. 

*  
They had no opportunity to meet until a whole week later. They were sitting in Alex’s kitchen in front of his laptop. Alex had decided to add another picture of the bunch he took of George lying on the landing of those stairs to his folder he would take to present to his friend. The photo had been taken before the shirt had slipped completely off his chest, only teasing with a broad strip of bare skin. George had one arm slung over his stomach, the other arm bent with his open palm lying next to his head while he looked at his fingers, lips slightly parted. There were little particles of dust flittering in the light of the spot. It was a little boring, if you knew what other pictures existed, but the picture itself was nice enough. And most of all it was safe. Alex had for a minute imagined seeing the other picture printed in a large size and him standing in front of it and he knew it was likely to make him die of a heart-attack.   
George had approved all of his decisions and seemed almost more excited than Alex himself. But Alex was trying manage his own expectations, to protect himself from disappointment. There was still a possibility that his pictures would not be included. Maybe he had misunderstood the theme. Maybe they weren’t what his friend wanted.  
“Stop overthinking it!” George called Alex out when he noticed him chewing on his lower lip.  
“I can’t,” Alex hung his head.  
“You are brilliant. If this doesn’t work out take the series somewhere else!” George assured him.  
“Thank you. But…”  
George held up his hand, “No, listen. I believe in you. I will help you find something else if your friend is stupid enough to say no.”  
Alex gave a small laugh. “Okay, thank you.”  
“And promise me, no matter the outcome, you call me right after!” George reached out and grasped Alex’s hands.  
Alex nodded.   
“Say it.”  
“I promise I will call you, no matter the outcome.”

*  
Alex had kept his promise and called. His friend had been super positive about the pictures, even asking if he could provide two more. He had grinned when Alex had asked if there was a guest list for the opening event, and if he could maybe add a couple of names.   
“Hey, can I invite you to have coffee with me in an hour. Or are you supposed to be anywhere?” Alex asked.  
“Sure. Send me your location, I’ll be there,” George immediately agreed.  
Alex wandered around for a bit until he found a small café. He texted George and the added the location before he went in. He sat down, ordered a tea and scrolled through his chats. He texted Lando to inform him about the exhibition and they exchanged a few messages until George arrived.  
They ordered coffees and Alex told George all about the gallery, about the exhibition, the party dress code and got more and more excited about it, because he gradually realised that he had really done it.   
“So there will be a catalogue and they’ll print your Instagram name as well as mine, so I guess you should benefit from it also. The exhibition will be more about showcasing talent; getting names out into the public and advertising skills than actually selling the pictures. Though there might be offers…”  
George shrugged, “They are yours.”  
“I can’t just…” Alex took a sip of his coffee. “Okay, just in case I actually get an offer, which is such a wild concept...”  
“Why?”  
Alex looked down into his cup.   
“What are you thinking about?” George asked gently.   
Alex sighed. “I’ve never been quite good enough. It has happened over and over. I mean, I know I am good from a technical aspect. But just once I wanted to be among the best. I should have been more selfish, demanding things I would have been entitled to…. calling out bullshit, but I couldn’t do it. And apparently I freeze under pressure.”  
George reached out and covered Alex’s hand. “You will get your chance. And it will be better than anything you could have had before, because you won’t have to compromise your well-being for it.”  
Alex smiled. He felt a lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he said quietly.   
“Excuse me?” the waitress stood next to their table.   
George pulled his hand back a little too quickly for Alex’s liking. “Yes?”  
The waitress looked at George with a smile and a little blush on her cheeks. “I… follow you on Instagram, I think you’re absolutely awesome! And I run the account for the café so I was wondering if you could take a picture with me I can post it and tag you on it?”  
It passed as quickly as it had come, but Alex thought he had seen a little shadow of annoyance in George’s eyes. He wondered if this scenario had been on George’s mind when Alex had suddenly stood next to his table a few weeks ago.  
George smiled, “Yeah, sure.”  
The girl pulled her phone from a pocket in her apron. She glanced at Alex. “Would you mind?”  
Alex gave her a smile, which probably looked as fake as it felt to him, “Sure, no problem.” He snapped a quick picture – it turned out quite nice – and handed the phone back.   
“Thank you,” she smiled. She lingered for maybe another two seconds, then went back behind the counter.  
“Now that was pretty rude, wasn’t it?” George said quietly.   
Alex shrugged.   
“She must have noticed that she would be interrupting…”  
“Are you embarrassed about it?” Alex wondered.  
“No,” George insisted  
Alex lowered his voice, “I meant to ask you this for a while… what made you even listen to me? That day at the café.”  
George considered him a moment, “At first I was bored and you looked so nervous, I thought it was endearing, likeable. You also looked quite desperate and uncomfortable. But when you started talking I immediately liked you,” he shrugged with one shoulder. “I wasn’t wrong,” George smiled.  
“I’m glad.”  
“Me, too.”  
Alex grinned. He tried to ignore his heart beating faster against his ribs. “Does that happen often?”  
“Sometimes. I mean, it’s kind of flattering, isn’t it? I wouldn’t mind, but some people are just so inconsiderate that it makes me angry. But I can’t get angry at them because I really don’t want to risk a bad reputation.” George explained.  
Alex nodded. It made sense. 

*  
“Oh my god, your shower is like the perfect photo location!” Alex exclaimed when he returned from George’s bathroom.  
“Okay.”  
“Okay what?” Alex looked at him puzzled.  
George laughed. “You mentioned photos. I agreed.”  
Alex sat down on the cushion on the floor. “I was kind of joking. I mean I wasn’t joking about... but I wasn’t suggesting that…”  
George patted Alex’s leg. “Calm down. And let’s talk about this.”  
They were sitting in front of a large floor to ceiling window, letting the sun warm them while they drank iced tea. George had invited Alex over to talk through a few ideas Alex had come up with.   
Alex had brought a few rough sketches that lay strewn all around them. He had also brought his camera, just in case.   
They had decided to wait with the work-out series George had wanted until next month when the weather would be a little nicer.   
Alex had been very relieved when George brought the topic of crediting and trying to promote him up himself. He had offered that Alex could claim some pictures for his exclusive use, should he want that, if he linked George on them. And George would tag Alex’s account on the pictures he posted and recommend him when someone looked for a photographer.   
“Now what inspiration did you meet in my bathroom,” George teased, “because I have to admit your blush is very intriguing.”   
“It’s just… your whole apartment looks like it’s straight out of a catalogue, it just screams photo location,” Alex ran his fingers over the rim of his glass nervously. Then stopped and blushed more.  
George laughed, “Well, it is straight out of a catalogue. It’s not very personal and don’t get attached to anything you see since I am constantly replacing stuff with new things. The only room that is really mine and my choices is my bedroom.”  
“Isn’t it annoying?” Alex wondered.  
George shrugged, “I usually give the things I can’t fit anymore away to friends and classmates, if they need something. I spend most of my time in my bedroom or at the gym anyways.”   
“You make it sound so glamourous,” Alex sighed.  
“Well, I still hope I can convince you that I am not as shallow as you think,” George leaned back against the window, his long legs stretched out towards Alex.  
“I don’t think you’re shallow. I might question or critique some of your priorities, but that’s hardly the same. And also something I do with my other friends’ lifestyle choices, too.” Alex said. Only belatedly realizing that he had called him a friend. Was that presumptuous?   
George didn’t comment on it, just quietly smiled at Alex for a moment. “So, what were you saying about the shower?”  
Alex cleared his throat. “That glass wall is amazing. The way it breaks the sunlight is mesmerizing, and if you add water to that… I bet it would look stunning. And…” Alex voice got a lot quieter, “I kind of have a thing for wet skin, so my imagination just went through the roof, I think. And I was really talking before I could think about it, because I was not going to bring this up.”  
“I enjoy when you get excited about a motif. I mean considering my sponsors I wouldn’t post anything explicit, but with a pair of swim shorts it would hardly be anything you couldn’t see at the pool. And I am curious to see what you would make of it.”  
Alex chewed on his lip. He really wanted the motif, but at the same time he wasn’t sure if he would be able to focus on anything but watching George – in the shower, as good as naked – he might just jump off the roof to save himself from that particular embarrassment.   
“You can say no,” George offered. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”  
“I want it. I really want it. I am just surprised that you are so relaxed about it.”  
“You have seen my pictures, right?” George chuckled.  
Alex rolled his eyes. “Yes. But I assume you have taken them yourself.”  
George confirmed, “I did.”  
“See, it’s not the same! Being with yourself and figuring out what angle works and just delete what you don’t like, no need to get self-conscious and… stuff.”   
George shrugged and smiled at Alex, “I trust you though. I have seen what you can do… you wouldn’t make me look stupid.”  
“You’ve known me for less than a month,” Alex pointed out.  
“I feel safe with you.”  
Alex felt the heat rise in his cheeks. And other parts of his body. And were they even talking about photos anymore? He really needed to be careful. Was George playing with him, enjoying how easily he could wrap him around his finger? He was such an easy target, lapping up the praise, obviously enjoying the nice words the other chose. While George remained in control. Through all the seemingly vulnerable things he said, he kept his composure, kept guarded. And maybe he had been disappointed once too often, but on the other hand it could all be a game he liked to play.  
“Did I say something wrong?” George asked.  
“No. Thank you for your trust. I really appreciate it.” Alex smiled at him. He really had no choice in this. It was too late to be cautious, he had already lost the battle and knew he would ultimately let George do with him as he pleased. Alex could only hope he wasn’t a toy that would get boring after a while.  
“So…” George started, stressing the vocal, “are we going to do this?”  
Alex stared at him, “What, like now?”  
“Yes now,” George laughed. “There should be sun on that window for at least another two hours. Or did you bring your camera for decorative purposes?”  
“No. I mean… yeah, if you want to…” Alex reflexively reached for his camera. “It’s not me getting naked…”  
George laughed, “You could, if it made you feel better.”  
“Ah… no thank you, another time maybe.” Alex replied but had to laugh too, it was half with nerves and half about the absurdity of the moment.  
“I’ll hold you to that.” George got up from the floor. “I’ll go and undress then.” 

Alex busied himself with his camera while he tried to think of really unsexy things so that his head would not implode. It was all his fault, wasn’t it? He could have prevented this. Hell, he could have said no, several times, but did he? No. He did not even try to say no. Alex decided that he would ask Lando to hide his phone as soon as he got home and then get drunk, really really drunk, that night.  
Sitting on the floor in the bathroom, Alex found it to be way too warm. The sun had been heating the room for a bit, and the tiles were probably heated from below, too. He felt sweat gather under his collar und pushed up his sleeves. He was tempted to take off his jumper, but he hadn’t gotten around to do laundry in a while, so he was wearing a rather old and faded muscle shirt underneath – he hadn’t planned for anyone to see it and felt quite self-conscious about it.   
“You ready?”  
Alex looked up when he heard George’s voice. First mistake.  
“Are you actually wearing that to the pool?” Alex asked incredulously while he got up off the floor.  
George looked down at himself and the probably tiniest swim shorts he could get away with and shrugged, “Yeah.”  
“Where did you buy them, in the children’s section?” Alex teased.   
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”  
George sat down on the edge of the bathtub while Alex explained what he wanted with a lot of waving around with his hands. George had to smile. It did wonders to settle his nerves, watching the other completely in his element.  
“Any more questions?” Alex asked.  
George shook his head.  
“Then I guess the first thing would be that you get wet…”  
George chortled, “Well, that’s not going to happen by itself.”  
“At least not that quickly. That’s where certain devices come in handy. In this case, your shower,” Alex crossed his arms over his chest. “If you will.”  
“Bossy. That’s hot,” George got up and stepped into the shower.  
“Feel free to choose any temperature you like,” Alex told him, trying to keep a straight face.  
George doubled over laughing though. “Sorry, but… you’re brilliant, Alex.”  
Alex allowed himself a grin. “I appreciate your attempt to distract me, but it’s not helping to actually achieve anything before the light is gone.”  
George straightened and switched on the water, “You can’t blame me for trying.”  
“Less talking.”   
Alex started taking pictures. Then paused.   
“I need more drops of water on the glass.”  
George turned the shower head, but it was only causing the water to run down the glass. He shrugged und turned it back.  
“No, that’s not working,” Alex put down the camera and stepped closer. He reached one hand into the stream and let the water reflect off his hand until he was satisfied with the result. “There.” He ignored that he had drenched himself and just went back and picked up his camera. He had to remind himself to keep breathing. The air in the room became more and more stifling.   
“Can you turn down the temperature, the glass is starting to get foggy,” Alex asked.  
“Yeah, sure. Sorry, I didn’t think of that.”  
Alex knew he had to work faster now, he didn’t want George to get too uncomfortable after all. Though of course he had to admit that the colder water had quite nice side effects. As soon as he noticed George was shivering though, Alex put down the camera.   
“Get out before you catch a cold, let me check what I’ve got,” Alex smiled, grabbed the towel that lay next to him and held it out to George.   
George nodded, took the towel and wrapped it around himself. He sat down on the edge of the tub, like before, and watched Alex as he looked through the pictures.   
After a few minutes Alex sat down next to him and handed over the camera. “They are even better than I imagined. But his one…”  
George took the camera and stared at the screen. The drops of water glittering in the light, peppering little shadows across his skin, face turned upwards and with his hands on the back of his head and across his chest was a rainbow painted by the edge of the glass panel.   
“You don’t like it,” Alex stated. He sounded disappointed.  
“Alex, it’s absolutely brilliant and I have no words that would do it justice.”  
A small smile appeared on Alex’s lips, momentarily distracting George again. “You scared me a little.”   
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” George looked back down at the camera. “Can I look at the rest?”  
“Sure, go ahead. They are yours if you want them. Though I would really like that one, for pride month, if you are okay with it.” Alex raised an eyebrow.   
“Yeah, it fits.”   
Alex watched him, unable to decide if he was distracted by looking at the pictures or uncomfortable with the mentioning of pride month and therefore distracting himself with the pictures. Alex shivered.  
George looked at him, then reached across the short distance to put a hand on his chest. “Alex, you’re soaked, you should take that jumper off and hang it up to dry.”  
“I’m fine!” Alex insisted. His body betraying him by shivering once more.  
“Obviously you’re not.”   
“It’s okay, really,” Alex tried again but George just shook his head.   
George got up and pulled Alex up by his arm. He carefully put the camera down before he grabbed the hem of Alex’s jumper.   
“Woah, okay…” Alex grabbed George’s hands to stop him.  
George immediately stepped back and let go, “Sorry, I... I didn’t mean. I wasn’t thinking.”  
Alex tried to calm down his heartbeat. His “I’m okay. It’s okay,” came out a little breathless.  
“I’m a bloody idiot,” George frowned and bit his lip.   
“You’ve been a bit thoughtless, but it’s okay, I promise,” Alex held out his hand.  
George squeezed it quickly.   
Alex sighed. He knew the reasonable thing was to dry the stupid jumper in the sunlight before he went home later. So he decided to just take it off and address the issue. “I don’t get to buy many clothes and I have been too busy for laundry…” he tugged on his shirt, that wasn’t only worn, but also a little too small, “I didn’t expect this to be seen.”  
George chuckled. “You are adorable.”  
Alex rolled his eyes, “Glad that one of us is amused by my distress.”  
“Come, give me that jumper, I’ll get you something to wear,” George said.  
“Yeah, and you could put on some clothes, too,” Alex added.  
“No need to insult me.”  
“How can I insult you with that when your clothes cost more than my rent?!”  
They stopped in front of a closed door that was probably George’s bed room. “Hey Alex?”  
“Yes?”   
“I really don’t care for that stuff. You will get famous for something that you’re good at. I know it. And that will be worth more than getting a sponsor being at the right place at the right time,” George didn’t quite meet Alex’s eyes, but he lightly squeezed his hand once more.  
Alex was a loss for words.  
“Can you wait here for a second?” George asked.  
Alex nodded and George vanished into the bedroom.  
He returned, fully dressed and held a neatly folded dark blue hoodie out for Alex to take.   
“I’ll make tea,” George said.  
“Oh! I’ll get the camera…”  
Alex unfolded the hoodie and slipped it over his head, it fit him, though he would probably have chosen a size larger. The fabric felt soft and smelled nice. Alex picked up the camera and placed in safely back into its little bag before he walked into the living room.  
The sun had moved and the room was a lot darker. George had settled down on one end of the sofa, two steaming mugs stood on the table.   
Alex sat down.   
“How did you get that scar?” George asked.  
“Scar? Oh…” Self-consciously Alex touched his collarbone through the material covering it. “That was an accident when I was a kid.”  
George picked up his mug and leaned his head to one side.  
Alex laughed. “Okay, so… I wanted to show my little brother how to use his new bobby car. But I was already way too tall to actually sit on it so when I rolled down a little hill I lost my balance and drove right into the wooden fence. Needed quite a few stitches…”  
George chuckled. “Did it motivate your brother to ride the bobby car?”  
“It did. And I am not sure what that says about my brother.” Alex reached for his mug and inhaled deeply.   
“Well, as a little brother I can say I probably would have done the same.”

*  
“It’s my birthday next week. I was thinking about a little party the Saturday after. Would you come?” Alex wondered. He had both hands wrapped around a large paper coffee cup. It had been really nice and sunny the last few days so he had left his coat at home. Since he had not yet acquired enough money to buy a jacket, he was only in his hoodie and the wind was really chilling down by the water.   
“Yeah, I’d love to,” George smiled. “How many people did you invite?”   
“Ten, maybe 15 if some of them bring a plus one,” Alex shrugged.   
George just nodded.  
Internally Alex screamed at him to just get the implied question and answer it. But George didn’t. It was a little frustrating by now. All their flirting hadn’t lead them anywhere. No suggestive touching, no indication that they could maybe kiss, just nothing. Alex had dropped a very obvious hint that he was bi, just in case George needed to know that. But he had gotten no reaction – which in general was a good thing, but not if you wanted a reaction, well, a positive one, of course.   
Alex’s hands started fidgeting with the cup. He leaned against the balustrade and stared out at the water, shoulders drawn up against the wind.   
George stepped next to him, leaning with his back against the barrier, elbows lightly resting on top, at first glance looking completely relaxed. But his eyebrows were drawn together in a frown when he looked at Alex. “What did I miss?”  
Alex looked at him. Holding his gaze. He didn’t say anything.  
“Tell me. You were expecting something specific from me and I failed to deliver…” George said, sounding distant and insecure.  
Alex sighed. Well that was his chance, there was no point in denying when the other had obviously caught on to it. “I was asking if you wanted to bring a date.”   
George’s eyes went wide for a second before his expression became completely closed off. “No.”  
They were quiet after that.   
Alex knew he had said something wrong, but couldn’t figure out what it had been. Or rather why it had been the wrong thing.   
“You’re cold, we should leave.” George stated after a while and pushed away from the balustrade.   
They walked towards the nearest train station in silence. Their goodbye was brief and uncertain. No laughter, no chatting to prolong meeting, nothing to delay the departure.   
Alex sat on the train, replaying the conversation over and over in his head. He had ruined it. And the worst thing was he couldn’t fix it since he didn’t know how he had done it. There were no new messages on his phone – George was probably driving anyway – and he couldn’t bring himself to write the first one. 

*  
There had been radio silence for the rest of that day.   
George had posted an Instagram story late that night ‘Sometimes things in life are not what they seem. I’m going to take a few days off, but I’ll have nice surprises for you when I return. Take care~’ Alex looked at the screen. The text was written over a photo of George’s hand, holding the coffee cup from earlier with the river in the background. No message to Alex, just the cryptic story.  
Alex had barely slept.   
It was 8 in the morning when he dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He wondered if he should call in sick, but his boss had been really excited about a new collection she was working on. And Alex really didn’t want to let her down. And he really needed to buy a pair of shoes soon, so he should actually be asking her for some extra hours. Maybe they could talk about five days a week instead of four.  
“Good morning,” Alex had barely set a foot into the shop when he was subjected to a scrutinizing gaze from his boss.  
“Good morning, Alex. Are you okay?”  
Alex forced his facial muscles into a smile. “Yeah. Didn’t sleep well.”  
“You radiate sadness,” she went into the back, to put on the electric kettle. “Did you fight with your boyfriend?”  
“Boyfriend?” Alex called after her while he put his bag down next to the computer.  
She reappeared in the doorway to the kitchen. “Didn’t you say you were meeting him yesterday?”  
“He’s not my boyfriend!”   
“Are you sure about that, Alex?” A mug was placed next to him, the teabag producing red swirls in the hot water.  
“I am not in denial about my sexuality, if that’s what you’re asking,” Alex said with a pout.  
“So you did have a fight with the boy who is not your boyfriend,” she challenged, leaning against the edge of the desk.   
“We didn’t have a fight. But something happened. I think I said something stupid, but I don’t know what it was and suddenly we weren’t talking anymore. And I feel like shit about it because the last thing I wanted was to drive him away,” Alex buried his face in his hands. He would not cry in front of his boss. Who paid him to work for her, not to be his therapist.   
“Well, what did you say?”  
“I invited him to my birthday party and asked him if he wanted to bring a date,” Alex opened the e-mail programme and started sorting the mails into orders and questions, until he felt a small warm hand covering his on the mouse. He looked up, meeting a concerned gaze.  
“What do you mean, you asked him if he wanted to bring a date? You two have been dating for a month.”  
“No, we haven’t,” Alex insisted.  
“Does he see it the same way?” she asked gently.  
“Why would he think we were dating?”  
“Did you talk about that fact?”  
“No.”  
“Then maybe you should. Since I am pretty sure you want to date him.”  
Alex blushed, “Yes, that’s why I asked in the first place. But who am I kidding, he’s way out of my league, why would he even consider dating me?”  
“Yet, your question seems to have hurt his feelings,” she patted his hand and got up.  
Alex shrugged.  
“And Alex?”  
“Yes?”  
“He will be lucky to get to date you, stop telling yourself that you aren’t enough. You are more than enough.”  
Alex ducked his head behind the monitor. “Thank you.”  
“Call him. The e-mails can wait.”  
“It’s work time, I can’t call him now.”  
“I don’t want you to make mistakes because you are distracted,” she stated matter-of-factly.  
“Thank you.”

Alex grabbed his phone and stepped out of the shop, walking a few steps down the street.  
He tapped the screen to dial George’s number, held the phone to his ear with his heart beating in his throat and leaned against the slightly damp brick wall for support. What if he didn’t pick up? What if he never wanted to talk to him again?  
“Yes?”  
“George! Hi! I…” Alex bit his lower lip. “Listen, I’m not sure what happened, but I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause this.”  
George sighed. “Alex, don’t apologize if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for.”  
“Then talk to me about it. What happened?” Alex asked.  
“I can’t.”  
“George, please…”  
“Not now. Not yet.”  
“Can we meet? I want to see you.” Alex knew he would beg if he had to; he didn’t care if it made him look weak.  
“Not right now. I drove to my parents’ place yesterday. I’m not in town,” George said.  
Alex picked at a loose threat on the hem of his jumper. “When will you be back?”  
“I haven’t decided yet,” George took a deep breath, “I need to clear my head.”  
Alex swallowed hard. “Do text me though, I am going to miss you.”  
“Yeah,” George said but even to his own ears it sounded non-committal.   
“I hope I’ll see you next Saturday then,” Alex forced himself to smile, praying his voice would carry hope instead of despair.  
“Hm...”  
They hung up. Alex went back to his computer, not saying anything, just burying himself in his work. Thankfully there was a lot to do that day and he ended up staying an hour longer. 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> liked it? comment?


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a big thank you for comments, suggestions and corrections to my test-readers. <3
> 
> This is the last part, hope you enjoy this :)

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Alex greeted George and wrapped him into a tight hug before he could evade it.   
George timidly placed one arm around Alex and patted his back a little. “Happy Birthday. I mean, I know I’m too late, but…”  
Alex laughed, “Never mind. Come on in. What do you want to drink?”  
George watched Alex while he took a beer from the fridge and handed it to George, he seemed tipsy, maybe on the way to drunk or just in a very good mood.   
They picked up the flirting right where they had left off. And George pondered the question he had asked himself all week; how could Alex not know? How could he think they weren’t dating, how could he think this level of flirting was acceptable between friends? How could he not notice the way George looked at him?   
But maybe George was being unfair in expecting Alex to pull all the weight. He had noticed how shy he would get, how little self-confidence he seemed to have sometimes.   
And maybe George was just really good at hiding his true emotions to protect himself.   
And maybe George’s aunt had been right, that he lacked the social skills to be an influencer, when he couldn’t even keep friends.   
And maybe his last partner had had a point when he accused him of being too scared about his image to ever be comfortable in being gay.   
Maybe all the childhood friends who broke off contact were right too, that he had become too cold, too streamlined, too inapproachable. But Alex had warmed him, had tried again and again, had not been discouraged. Alex had made him want to become a better version of himself, for himself and for Alex.  
So maybe it was time to ask the questions and to talk, to get all those stupid ‘maybes’ out of the way.

Over the course of the evening George felt himself relax. He had over-reacted and being around Alex put him at ease. He was soaking up his warmth like a reptile changing its body temperature in the sun. He shouldn’t have run. He should have stayed and talked. And wasn’t this all going way too fast?  
“What are you thinking about? If you keep frowning like that you’ll get all wrinkly before you reach my age,” Alex grinned. They stood in the corridor between kitchen and living room.  
George laughed, feeling a hundred times lighter than this morning. Someone turned up the music and he could feel the bass vibrate in his bones.  
Alex leaned a little closer to George. “I’ve been meaning to ask, when is your birthday?”  
“February 15th,” George almost had to shout over the music.  
Alex paused. He quickly made a few calculations. “Did we meet on your birthday?!”  
A nod. The volume of the music was turned down a bit, though it was still loud.  
“Why… I mean… you never said.”  
George shrugged, “It never came up.” He leaned over so he was as close to Alex’s ear as he dared, “I consider you my birthday present though.”  
“Well, in that case you’ve been pretty patient with unwrapping your present.” Shit. Okay, Alex thought, he was probably a lot more drunk than he had noticed. George seemed pretty amused though while Alex considered whether or not he could leave his own party.  
“Do you want me to?” George wondered. “Because I would like that.”  
Alex could feel George’s breath on his neck. Would this be over the moment they had slept with each other? All the tension they had built, just gone? Alex was aware that they didn’t even know each other properly yet, they had only met five weeks ago, but it felt so different. He had met a few people he had connected with that quickly and all of them had turned out to be long-term friends. Though admittedly he hadn’t wanted to sleep with any of them so that was a factor to consider.   
Alex had obviously hesitated too long for George pulled away.  
“Shit sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean to make this awkward…” George apologized, turning away from Alex, about to walk off, maybe leave – again.  
And Alex panicked. He grabbed George’s wrist and yanked him back before he threw both arms around George’s shoulders and kissed him. Kissed him hard until he needed to pull away for air. Alex noted in the periphery of his mind that someone cheered. More importantly he noted that George had wrapped one arm around his waist and used the other to steady himself against the wall Alex was leaning against. And when had that happened?  
“Please do unwrap me,” Alex said breathlessly before they both started laughing. George rested his forehead against Alex’s shoulder and Alex lifted one hand to the back of George’s head. They stayed like that for a while, giggling occasionally, until Lando stood next to them, arms crossed.   
“I would suggest you get a room, but there’s probably people in every room of this flat, so you might want to wait until the party is over,” Lando laughed.  
Alex pushed against his shoulder, “Stop it! It’s my party! I can do what I want.”  
“Yes, but it’s our friends, and I don’t think you want to traumatize them.”

For the rest of the evening George and Alex kept close, always sitting with their shoulders or knees touching, squeezing each other’s hands and smiling at each other. No guests were traumatized but none of them missed the shift in their behaviour. George was the last one around, helping Alex clean the living room.  
Lando had vanished into his room at some point and Alex had muttered quite a few curses. Making George laugh and kiss his cheek. “Don’t get all moody now that we’re finally alone…”  
Alex stopped to turn towards him, “Oh don’t start that now, otherwise this will never get this finished.”  
George wrapped both arms around Alex from behind. “It’s hard to resist though.”  
“George,” Alex protested. “We’re almost done here anyway, please let’s finish this so we can go to bed.”  
“Now there’s a promise,” George chuckled.  
Alex rolled his eyes but at the same time felt heat engulf his whole body. He hadn’t thought that far when he had asked George if he wanted to stay over. He busied himself with throwing plastic cups and paper plates into a garbage bag.  
“I can sleep on the sofa if I make you uncomfortable.”  
Alex stopped and turned to George. “No, it’s alright, I’m not scared or anything.” Alex surveyed the room, making sure he had cleared everything. “And actually you couldn’t sleep on the sofa because someone spilt a Red Bull earlier and I would not expect you to endure that.”  
George laughed, “Good to know.”  
Alex grinned broadly.   
George stepped closer and placed a chaste kiss onto his lips. “Can I ask you something?”  
“Of course,” Alex sounded a little breathless.   
“Are we dating now?” George bit his lower lip, looking almost worried.   
Like a puppy afraid to be kicked, Alex’s mind offered. Alex took hold of George’s hand. “Yes. And I am an idiot, that I haven’t figured it out before.”   
George looked down at their joined hands and said, “I almost didn’t want to come today. When you asked that stupid question if I wanted to bring a date… and I suddenly noticed that from your point of view we weren’t dating… I felt so stupid. I’m so bad at this.” A single tear rolled down his cheek.  
Alex placed one hand under George’s chin, making him look up. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay? We will figure out how to communicate better.”  
George nodded and Alex kissed him.

They had kissed more when they lay in Alex’s bed, a little squashed since there wasn’t that much room, but not exactly uncomfortable. Exhausted from the long day they had fallen asleep though before they could even think of taking it any further. And they were kissing again even before they had properly woken up.  
Sunshine was forcing its way through a gap in the curtains, the room was dim and warm.  
George pulled Alex on top of him and slipped one hand to the back of his head the other rested on his lower back. They were both hard and moving against each other frantically.   
“George, stop, wait,” Alex pushed himself up, trying to get some space between them without actually moving off the other.  
George whined, trying to pull Alex back in. “Alex, please…”  
And Alex almost gave in. Almost. “No. I don’t want this to be over in a few seconds.”  
George released his grip on Alex and dropped down onto the mattress, looking up. Tousled hair, cheeks flushed, lips parted and wet, panting in an attempt to cool down – it was really testing Alex’s reserve.   
Alex lifted a hand to caress George’s cheek and watched him close his eyes and lean into to touch. “You’re beautiful, even more like this,” he whispered.  
George shuddered and opened his eyes. “I’ve been falling for you, a little more every day, since we met.” He lifted one hand and placed it against Alex’s cheek in a mirror image. “And I should have told you instead of assuming you knew.”  
Alex smiled, he turned his head sideways to kiss George’s palm. “I tried not to, but I couldn’t resist,” he confessed.  
George wanted to say something in return but it got lost in an unrepressed moan when Alex shifted against him a little. “Sorry,” George bit onto his lip and closed his eyes. “Alex, I can’t… if you want to talk I need to go to the bathroom for a moment.”  
Alex let his head fall onto George’s shoulder and gave a pained groan. “No, don’t.”  
George wrapped both arms around Alex’s shoulders and pressed his hot mouth against his ear. “Then please let me come or I will go crazy.”  
Alex’s hips jerked against George on their own account. They had missed the point to take it slow. But this was only the beginning, right? This wouldn’t be the end. Alex allowed his full weight to rest against George, he pressed their lips together while their hips started rocking against each other.  
Alex knew he would not last long and from the desperate sounds George was making below him, he wasn’t any better off. Belatedly, he remembered that they were both still in t-shirts and boxer shorts. “Clothes,” he panted and tried to move to change that situation.  
George shook his head, “No time.” He then arched off the bed, head thrown back.  
And he was right. Alex pressed his open mouth against George’s shoulder to muffle his shout when he felt the hot waves of his orgasm wash over him.   
The room was quiet except for their laboured breathing. They resumed kissing as soon as they had caught their breath, although at a slower pace. Hands wandering over bodies leisurely.   
Alex grimaced when he moved his hips though, the sticky mess in his boxers everything but comfortable. He dropped onto his side, next to George.  
George gave a low laugh. “Didn’t you want to get undressed? Now would be a good time.”  
“I don’t think my brain’s hazy enough to not be embarrassed right now,” Alex gave back.  
“Why would you be embarrassed?” George turned onto his side, too, looking at Alex.  
Alex looked away.   
“No, come on, don’t shut me out here, communication, remember?” George took Alex’s hand that lay in the small space between them.  
Alex sighed. “I’m feeling insecure. We both know that you work out almost every day and I rarely do anything. Okay, I am thin… but that’s nothing I actively achieved.”  
“Alex, you worry too much. I know I am taking some things to an extreme… but that’s something between me and myself. I will not judge.” George slipped a little closer and placed his hand on Alex’s hip instead. “But if you need a higher level of arousal though, I am pretty sure I can provide help.”  
It made Alex laugh, “You’re impossible.” And he knew he was being silly. He knew he would always find himself lacking no matter what comparisons he made, because that was just how his brain was wired. He felt George’s curious fingertips on his skin above the waistband of his boxers. And even the slight and mostly innocent touch transferred directly to his dick. He gasped.  
“Is it working?” George teased.   
Alex pushed him onto his back and knelt above George. He pulled his own shirt off and dropped it onto the floor before he helped George out of his. With his hands on the waistband of George’s shorts he paused, looking into his eyes until he saw him nod, he pulled the fabric down his legs. Alex didn’t hesitate to let his own shorts follow and then they looked at each other, Alex sitting on his heels between the other’s thighs, both half-hard again.  
“This is hot. You are hot,” George ran one hand over his throat while he looked at Alex, “I think I could come from you looking at me like that.”   
Alex growled and bent over George, propped up on one hand above him, while the other travelled from his hip to his shoulder. He could feel George’s heartbeat through his skin when his fingers stopped to rest on his chest, one fingertip a feather-light tease against one nipple.   
“Alex,” George gasped.   
“Yes?” Alex smirked, rubbing his fingers a little more firmly against the sensitive spot.  
“I need more…”  
“Patience.” Alex bent down, to kiss George’s neck. Then sucked a small hickey onto the skin below the angle of his jaw.  
George moaned. Loudly. Then covered his mouth with the back of one hand.  
Alex took his hand away, shaking his head.  
“But what about…” George pointed his chin at the door.  
Alex grinned. “If he’s awake, he’ll be wearing a head-set. Don’t worry.”   
“Okay…”  
Alex resumed kissing George’s skin, lips slowly trailing down his chest.  
George tried to reach out to touch Alex in return, but Alex caught his hands.   
“Later, let me worship you first, without any distractions,” Alex kissed both hands before he placed them onto the mattress.  
George made a strangled noise but let his hands rest where Alex put them.   
Alex sucked another hickey onto George’s skin right above his hip bone, this one a lot more noticeable since it would be hidden by clothes anyway. George squirmed underneath his lips and Alex kept him still, held him with both hands on his waist as he licked along his dick. He looked up and their gazes locked when Alex wrapped his lips around the tip of George’s dick and slowly sucked him deeper.   
George’s speech got incoherent, but the sounds he made spurred Alex on nonetheless, moving faster, using his tongue to add more stimuli. Until he felt a hand in his hair, tugging lightly.   
“Alex, come here and kiss me,” George pleaded.  
Alex moved up the bed until he could reach George’s lips. They traded wet, open-mouthed kisses and Alex wrapped one hand around both their dicks to jerk them off.

They lay side by side on the narrow bed, sweaty and sated and absolutely content. Alex had tangled his fingers with George’s, both hands resting on his chest.   
“I’m glad you didn’t let me run away again, yesterday…” George said quietly.  
“I’m glad, too,” Alex turned his head sideways to look at him. “I hope I won’t ever give you another reason to run.”  
George turned his head towards Alex as well. “How do I even deserve you, Alex.”   
Alex pushed up on one elbow. “You me? Isn’t it the other way round.”  
George shook his head. “I’m complicated and weird, you are amazing.”  
“We all have our flaws,” Alex objected.  
George sighed. “You are brilliant and talented and you follow your dream. You impress me every day. What do you even want with me in your life. A drifter, with lots of issues and no purpose, no goals.”  
Alex covered George’s lips with one finger. “Do you even realise that you are living a lot of people’s dream?”  
“I was just lucky. You on the other hand, work hard.”  
“I think you underestimate the energy and determination you put in. And I do want you in my life, because I’m falling in love with you,” Alex bent down to kiss George.  
Before their kisses had a chance to get more heated again they were startled apart by something crashing outside the room followed by swearing. They looked at each other and laughed.  
“I guess I better go investigate,” Alex stated.

*  
“Will you freak out if I introduce you as my boyfriend?” Alex asked.  
“No, I would probably freak out if you didn’t…” George continued looking though Alex’s DVDs.  
It had been three weeks since Alex’s party and George had spent most of his time at Alex’s flat. So much, that Lando had jokingly offered to babysit George’s apartment so that it wouldn’t feel so alone.   
The exhibition would be in two weeks, and Alex was worried about a million things that could go wrong. George would go with him to the opening party, and Alex really didn’t want to ruin their evening by saying anything wrong.  
“Good.”  
George stopped and looked at Alex. “What’s the real question?”  
Alex smiled, sometimes it was creepy how well George could pick up on what he didn’t say. He patted the sofa next to him, there was still a faded stain on the cushion, but at least the smell had vanished.   
George came over and sat down. “I don’t want to share an information about you, that you’re not willing to share.”  
“I’m not ashamed about us.”  
Alex shook his head, “That’s not what I meant. You are not out on your blog. And I don’t want to do or say anything to force you to change that. If you decide to do it, it should be on your own terms, not by accident.”  
George sank into the backrest. “I hate it. It’s stupid that I don’t use the medium for visibility and support. I hate that I am scared to lose sponsors… I don’t even want their money if they wouldn’t support it. Yet, I have done nothing.”  
“That’s why you panicked a little over the rainbow photos, isn’t it?” Alex turned his upper body so he could look at George, one hand resting on his thigh.   
George covered Alex’s hand. “I love the pictures. And ever since you took them I have been thinking about using one of them as a statement.”   
“I don’t want to pressure you into anything, you know that. I support you no matter what you decide. I just don’t want to embarrass you in front of other people, that’s why I need you tell me…”  
“I will never be embarrassed to be your boyfriend,” George interrupted. “I’m proud of you. I’m so damn excited to be at the party and tell everyone how brilliant you are.”  
“You advertised the exhibition quite heavily on your Instagram, I’m sure there will be people at the party, too, who follow you. Are you okay with it if they find out?”  
George picked up Alex’s hand and kissed it. “Yes. And I think I will go and ‘warn’ my main sponsors so they can’t claim I breached a contract or anything. I also think you could come and spend more time at my place, you haven’t even seen my bedroom yet. I’ve been scared long enough.”  
“So confident and decisive today, I love it.” Alex leaned over and kissed George’s cheek.

*  
“Well, I hope the breakfast is better than your dancing,” Alex leaned in the doorframe.  
“There’s always the choice to go hungry,” George laughed and twirled once around himself before he sat the bread basket down on the table, and turned down the (cheesy love songs on the) radio.   
Alex walked across the kitchen and kissed George, “You are in an exceptionally good mood this morning.”  
“Oh, indeed I am,” George wrapped both arms around Alex’s waist.   
“Any particular reason?”  
George laughed, “Oh, I don’t know if you remember last night, but that’s definitely a reason.”  
“Huh… if you’re able to dance around in your kitchen at 8 in the morning with that much excess energy, I might need to put in more effort,” Alex pretended to think about it.  
“Any more effort and you’ll be bringing me breakfast in bed for a week, Alex,” George kissed the tip of his nose.   
Alex blushed a little as he sat down at the table. It was a little funny. When they met friends, or even when they spent time in public, George was so in control; always doing things consciously and considerately. But when they were on their own, he let go, wasn’t afraid to be silly. He let Alex take control if he wanted it, and surprisingly Alex did want it. Having George completely surrender below (or on top of) him was something Alex was quickly getting addicted to.   
“Speaking of your bed. Why did we spend weeks in my tiny bed, getting cramps, when you have the king-size, luxury space-to-actually-roll-over-version here?”  
George shrugged sheepishly, “Because I like being close to you.”  
Alex rolled his eyes affectionately, “How can I argue against that?”  
“You can’t,” George grinned while he poured them coffee. “I will admit though, that it was hot when you just rolled me over without us falling off the bed.”  
Alex covered his face with both hands, “That was one time. And to my defence, I was in no state to think.”  
George took the chair opposite him, smirking, “Yeah, I guess most of your blood was… in me.”  
Alex looked at him scandalized.   
George chuckled. “Breakfast?” he asked sweetly.

*  
“You look so hot,” George whispered. They were in public so he had picked his moment well, there was nobody in earshot. “Seeing you walk around in that suit, with so much confidence, and enjoying yourself… it’s doing things to me.” He moved a little closer, so the back of Alex’s hand made brief contact with his crotch.   
Alex inhaled sharply. So there was a reason why George had buttoned his jacket. Alex moved his hand deliberately against the other when he leaned in to say, “If you keep this up, maybe you can do things to me later.” He had been thinking about it for a while, not knowing how to casually bring it up.   
George took a step back. “Damn, Alex,” he gasped.  
“Is that a yes?” Alex asked. He loved how George looked flustered and was blushing a little.   
“Of course that’s a yes,” George stated.  
“I would like to kiss you, but that might not be enough.” Alex licked his lip unconsciously and it drew George’s attention.   
“Definitely not enough.”  
“There you are!”   
Alex and George turned to look at Lando who stopped in his tracks.  
“You look both so guilty. Please tell me I did not walk into something indecent going on.”  
Alex laughed, “Not yet anyway.”  
“Should I leave then?”   
“No, actually you definitely should stay,” George said. At Lando’s terrified expression he added, “There’s no need for that face! I was thinking about you keeping us from doing stupid things. Though I absolutely will hold this reaction against you.”  
Lando slapped a palm against his forehead. “Sorry. Must be your vibes rubbing off…”  
“Nobody was rubbing anything…”  
“Well, that’s not really the truth, is it?”  
Lando made a gagging noise and declared, “Okay, time to get back to party!” He turned and quickly walked off.

“Have you done it before?” George asked. He looked a little shy, nervous maybe.  
Alex covered George’s hand between them on the bed. “Yes. A couple of times.”  
“I haven’t,” George confessed quietly. “I want to! I have thought about it since you made that comment the other week that you’d be up for it…”  
“Why haven’t you?” Alex lay back on the bed, pulling George with him by the hand.  
“I was always a little scared to bring it up, and nobody offered…” George blushed. He rested next to Alex on his side, hand propping up his head, and let his fingers wander over Alex’s bare chest. “You are so different from everyone I have ever met. So comfortable just trying things out, not worried about an image you have to uphold. I love that, it makes me relax and think ‘it’s okay, I’m going to be okay’ and I think I really needed that.”  
“I worry about everything else, I don’t have the capacity to worry about this as well,” Alex joked.   
George snapped the waistband of his boxers, “I’m being serious here.”  
Alex’s gave him a soft smile, “I know. And you have no idea how happy it makes me to have you trust me like you do.”  
“Maybe a little idea. If I go by how happy I feel.”  
Alex bit his lip, swallowing the ‘I love you’. They hadn’t said that yet. They had said things like ‘I love this thing about you’, or ‘I love when we do that thing’, but never an ‘I love you’. So instead he caressed George’s cheek, running a thumb over his lower lip, then he smirked, “Now, do you want to make me cry or come?”  
George’s jaw dropped for a second before he caught himself. And Alex could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what he had done, and probably why. “Let’s see if I can do both.” George turned over to grab the little bottle of lube from the nightstand. He dropped it next to Alex’s hip, before he straddled him. 

They kissed and Alex ran his hands over George’s back, let his short, blunt fingernails trace lines along his spine. He felt George rock against him, and it was almost too much. After all the teasing at the party and in the car on the way back he was too wound up for a prolonged make-out session.  
“George, please,” Alex felt around for the lube. “If you want to get in me, get on with it,” he pressed the bottle into George’s hands impatiently.  
George snorted, “In such a hurry.” He rolled his hips into Alex’s.  
Alex almost pushed him off. “It’s all your fault. All your teasing. I’m serious, I don’t know how much more I can take.”  
George crawled backwards until he knelt over Alex’s feet. He pulled the other’s boxers down his legs, helped Alex untangle his foot when he tried to get out of the fabric so quickly that it made him uncoordinated.   
Alex let his knees fall to both sides and George ran his hands up along the inside of his thighs. Alex jerked his hips up into George’s touch, when his thumbs reached the delicate skin behind his balls.  
“Alex… I will not hurry through this. If it’s too much we don’t have to…”  
Alex grabbed George’s wrist. “Stop delaying,” he let go and dropped back onto the cushion. “Just please, do something.”  
George bent forward to kiss Alex’s stomach while he opened the lube and coated his fingers generously. He dipped his tongue into Alex’s navel, running a finger over the tight muscles before slowly slipping a finger into him.   
Alex moaned, his back arching.   
George took his time, sensing how restless Alex got. He placed a hand over Alex’s heart and stopped moving his hand, the two fingers in him keeping perfectly still. “Alex, relax. And stay with me.”  
Alex covered George’s hand, taking a few deep breaths.   
“I need to know you’re okay,” George looked into Alex’s eyes.   
Another deep breath and Alex squeezed George’s hand. “I’m okay.”

Tentatively George started moving his fingers, their gazes locked and somehow it felt even more intense than before.  
“George, I need…” Alex licked his lips, “I need you inside me right this moment, I swear, I can’t wait…”  
George removed his fingers and pushed back in with three. Alex squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, panting as his body tried to adjust to the unfamiliar intrusion.   
“You will have to wait for another moment.”  
Alex fixed him with a stare. “This won’t be forgotten…”  
George laughed, “Sure hope so.” He moved his fingers with more purpose, watching Alex getting more and more desperate for release, rocking his hips against George’s fingers.   
“Stop teasing,” Alex pulled away and sat up, kissing George briefly, both hands on his cheeks. “I’ll be fine.”  
“How do you want me to…” George focussed on the bottle and on spreading lube on his dick, his face hot under Alex’s hands.   
Alex leaned backwards until his back rested on the mattress once more, pulling George onto him, wrapping both legs loosely around his hips. “Like this.”  
“Okay.”  
“Don’t be so insecure, it will be good,” Alex pulled George in for another kiss.   
George gave a short laugh against the other’s lips before he pushed himself up so he could actually see what he was doing.   
Alex held his breath for a moment, the sensation foreign and a little uncomfortable.   
But George was careful and moved slowly, closely watching Alex’s reaction. He paused once he had pushed inside, bending down for a tender kiss.   
When the uncomfortable feeling subsided Alex tentatively rocked his hips and immediately felt his arousal return full force after it had receded at little. Their kiss got more passionate and the movement of their hips got faster.   
“Touch me, please,” Alex begged, head thrown back.  
And George reached between them, wrapped his hand around Alex’s dick and felt him come after only a few strokes. The sensation of Alex’s muscles tightening around his own dick brought him to the edge as well. George tried to ignore it, focussed on stroking Alex’s through his orgasm, but had to surrender to his own quickly.   
He collapsed onto Alex when he pulled him closer with both arms around his shoulders. They kissed, still out of breath and sweaty.   
Alex ran one hand over George’s cheek and looked into his eyes. They smiled at each other.

*  
Alex walked into the bathroom the next morning.   
George stood in front of the mirror, wearing only boxers, shaving his face.  
Alex wrapped his arms around him from behind.  
They locked eyes across the mirror.   
Alex kissed the side of George’s neck, where he had left a hickey this morning, before he leaned his forehead against George’s shoulder. His hand was splayed over George’s stomach, the gesture a little possessive.  
They stayed, frozen in time, for a moment. Their relaxed breathing filling the room, somewhere in the apartment a radio was playing. Then Alex lifted his head and caught George’s gate again. “I love you,” he said.  
George turned around in his arms immediately, lips finding Alex’s, before he whispered, “I love you, too.”   
They stayed wrapped around each other for another moment, before Alex pulled back. “Are you wearing my shorts?”   
George looked down, a little confused, “Yeah, I guess.” Only then noticing that Alex didn’t wear anything. George groaned. “I don’t think I have enough energy…”  
Alex ran one hand across the front of his boxers, “Tell that to all of your body then…”

*  
George picked up the phone. “Alex! How was your meeting? And why were you so secretive about it?”   
Alex sat down on a bench in a park. “I didn’t want to jinx it, I guess.”  
“Come on, tell me about it!” George urged.  
“So, I got this offer from a fashion magazine to do a campaign for their blog. Three months’ test period, if it gets popular enough they offer me a two-year-contract,” Alex said.  
“Wow that’s great!” George exclaimed. “Why don’t you sound more excited?”  
“There’s a catch,” Alex admitted.  
“What is it?”  
Alex explained, “They asked me for your agency, so they could book you as the model. Apparently, they had a look at our Instagram accounts and decided we’re best as a package deal.”  
George chuckled, “I agree on that.”  
“I mean, I really, really want that job, but I understand if you don’t want to do it. I told them you are not with any agency but they would like to contact you anyways.”  
“I’ll do it,” George stated.  
“George, think about it, you don’t have to do this for me…” Alex told him. “Or, listen to their offer and then think about it. It’s not your job, they will have to understand if you decline and I could try to convince them to find someone...”  
“Alex, stop. I will talk to them and consider their offer. But honestly, I want to do this for you. I don’t want to ruin this opportunity.” George said calmly.  
“Thank you. But… I don’t want you to do it for me, if you wouldn’t do it for yourself…”  
“Where are you, can we meet?” George asked.  
“I could come to your place while you give them a call, I’m on my way.” Alex suggested. “I can bring lunch?”  
“Text me the number. I’m looking forward to seeing you.”  
Alex hung up. He felt happy. In just a few months his life had changed so much. And of course he still had a long way to go to fulfil his dreams, but now he looked forward to it. Knew he was not alone, knew he had the best support he could wish for. Suddenly it was a lot easier to believe in himself. Maybe it was all the smiling he did every day, that tricked his brain into actually believing the world was a happy place. Maybe it was the love in his heart that made him feel like his chest was going to burst, ever expanding to make room for more each day. And Alex would never regret that one impulsive choice that changed his life for the better.   
He grabbed his new jacket, his wallet and the keys.   
“See you Sunday, Lando!” he called and pulled the door closed behind himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it so far, feel free to leave a comment ;)


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